The Leprosy of Our Day

Oh what an awful title to start this entry for the day. But, have you ever thought about it? Jesus confronted, held and touched, and healed one of the most debilitating and damaging illnesses of His day-leprosy. All lepers (due to the contagion of the illness) were automatically removed from society, held with disregard, treated as if substandard, and lastly, left to die within their little community of lepers. How tragic and utterly baneful this must have been for those who contracted the disease. Why did Jesus go out of his way to make a difference, to relate, engage, heal, and love these people?

As in many of the Lord’s parables where he touches the very heart of broken, sinful, and lost humanity, He does so with these people. Jesus most often elevates the truthful, and compassionate response to humanity while ensuring that the point is not to expose humanity and how bad it is. “Our tragedy is that most often, we focus on what people are not rather than what they are and what they can become.“ 

So…what is the leprosy of our day? As mentioned earlier in one of my first entries, I am a therapist and a consultant. I spend many hours listening intently to the circumstances, stories, and relational exchanges that seem to create stuckness in the mire of life. I am convinced that the Leprosy of Our Day has less to do with physical illness and more to do with our response towards our overriding  ”fear of not belonging.” What do I mean? Let me explain.

Because we were all made for meaningful connection, our proclivity for perspective is to belong. We all arrange our grid for viewing life each day with an emotional focus to insure belonging. When we stumble upon a person who is “different” or perhaps going through something that we would dread going through, our immediate grid becomes jaded with our fear and asks, “If I engage would I belong?” If we are afraid, our belonging meter begins to show alarm. As a means of self-protection, we then become suspect, possibly even judgemental towards the person, or group therefore insuring our own cleansing from the system while protecting what we have already set up as our “criteria and system of belonging.”

Lepers are created by our own perceptions of what is “not acceptable” and reinforced by our engrained response of judgements and rationalizations of why another is truly an outcast. So..the leprosy is not necessarily a certain issue as much as it is a response to the issues with an already preconceived grid of insuring self-protection and deemed purity.

A good friend recently went to the Holy Land on a tour. His instructor Ray Vander Laan  said it well, “Jesus came to bring order in the midst of disorder, he came to enter into the chaos and not skirt it to appear more righteous.” Oh, how difficult this is. What is certain is we cannot do it alone, we need each other, our perspectives need to be refined and transformed into the image of true love, and we need to be having conversations with the Lord and each other about our struggle in the midst of it.

Photos Courtesy of  Natalie Tumasian,U.Wili,, MoonJazz 

Connection That Gives Life!

This past week was certainly filled with appointments where relationships were filled with pain, frustration, and loss. There was a variety of difficulties that create the negativity resulting in a “going away or a going against” style of relationship.

What gives life in our relationships? What types of connection offer more than our shallow placating efforts to “make someone happy?” I find that the real trap is when we feel responsible for someone elses happiness. This automatically is a set up for someone else to control whether you are happy.

Central to our challenge to experience relationship connections that give life is our boundary layer confusion about “what is yours, what is mine, and what is ours.” I find that there are three distinct entities in a dyadic relationship: me, you, and us. The difficulty is that we are confused about the relational, emotional lines between the three. Consequently, we are either overperforming, underperforming, or not performing.

Relationships were created to offer an authentic source of generative life. Our confusion due to emotional, developmental, historical, and spiritual forces misconstrue the perception and therefore the delivery of relationship giving. The end result: confusion, hurt, frustration, differences that do not reconcile, emotional tissue that does not get restored, spiritual birthing that does not get a chance to develop.

Certainly, a 250 word blog is not enough to address this difficulty in full. However, mentioning the challenge and attempting to distill out of the confusion a central understanding of part of the challenge can begin the conversation that creates an interest to delve deeper into discovering for yourself Connections That Give Life! How do you relate to this conversation?

Photos courtesy of  Microsoft Clip Organizer

Conversation Tills the Soil of Our Hearts

When I moved in 1993 to Iowa from Southern California I was enthusiastic to explore my environment and learn about all the various aspects of Iowa’s terrain and geography. One of many unique characteristics of Iowa has to do with the soil.

Iowa has the some of the best soil in the heartland to grow crops. The black soil is rich with nutrients and humus, therefore providing a fertile beginning for seeds that are planted to develop and grow. As a farmer works with the soil by fertilizing, tilling, and managing water, the crops will then produce a greater yield during harvest time in the fall. By neglecting the soil and not tending it, hardpan results. Hardpan is a 3-6 inch layer of hard, crusty, clay that does not let moisture to penetrate nor does it allow nutrients or humus to get into the soil. This phenomenon develops simply by ignoring the soil while continuing to plant crops. Eventually the ground becomes very hard. Consequently, the only “crop” that does grow and flourish are weeds.

These are interesting facts about soil in Iowa’s heartland. I think there is a principle worth learning: “The quality of the soil determines the crop that grows.” What is the point?  

Is it possible that our conversations with each other are similar to a farmer caring for and managing soil? Do our conversations creatively till the inward places in our humanity that make provision for a greater yield? I believe “Conversation Tills the Soil of Our Hearts!”  Conversation, not simply talking, has its transforming effects to turn over, make rich in nutrients and minerals, manage barrenness and dry places, the soil of our hearts.

What if we realized that the degree of quality of our conversations we experience cultivates the type of heart soil and permits seeds of life, love, and living to take shape and form in our center. Would we engage more deeply with each other? Would we attempt to increase our number of conversations with each other? I invite you to reply by sharing with me your conversation about these thoughts.