Conversation or Condemnation

We all have an inner conversation that is taking place whether we are aware of it or not. Some call this conversation “self-talk” some simply say, “I was thinking about…” I tend to call it our inner conversation.

The other day I was having a conversation with a woman. She was sharing with me the events of her day, her thoughts, feelings and opinions about all of it. The conversation was flowing quite well until she began to feel  bad about something that she had done. Automatically, she entered into this self-loathing, disdainful attitude toward herself and the conversation was over.

Her conversation ended with me but also with herself. I found her shutting down, unable to process, and grappling with words to rescue herself from what appeared a pain producing experience. What happened? Where did she suddenly go? One minute she was present and available, the next she was absent. Here is what I discovered.

There is a vast difference between  conversation and condemnation. Conversation is interactive, dynamic, engaging, and full of life. Conversation creates wonder and curiosity. Condemnation produces judgement, guilt, hurt, and deathlike features. Where conversation opens, condemnation closes. Conversation permits the opportunity for growth and discovery, condemnation ends all learning, avoids possibility thinking, and leaves a person in the ruins of  feeling inadequate.

As you reflect, ask yourself, Are you having a conversation? Is it leading to discovery and growth? Are you entering into condemnation, therefore closing opportunities to learn? Conversation or Condemnation, that is the question!