Conversations With Life

a blog by Matthew J. Burch

Connection That Gives Life!

This past week was certainly filled with appointments where relationships were filled with pain, frustration, and loss. There was a variety of difficulties that create the negativity resulting in a “going away or a going against” style of relationship.

What gives life in our relationships? What types of connection offer more than our shallow placating efforts to “make someone happy?” I find that the real trap is when we feel responsible for someone elses happiness. This automatically is a set up for someone else to control whether you are happy.

Central to our challenge to experience relationship connections that give life is our boundary layer confusion about “what is yours, what is mine, and what is ours.” I find that there are three distinct entities in a dyadic relationship: me, you, and us. The difficulty is that we are confused about the relational, emotional lines between the three. Consequently, we are either overperforming, underperforming, or not performing.

Relationships were created to offer an authentic source of generative life. Our confusion due to emotional, developmental, historical, and spiritual forces misconstrue the perception and therefore the delivery of relationship giving. The end result: confusion, hurt, frustration, differences that do not reconcile, emotional tissue that does not get restored, spiritual birthing that does not get a chance to develop.

Certainly, a 250 word blog is not enough to address this difficulty in full. However, mentioning the challenge and attempting to distill out of the confusion a central understanding of part of the challenge can begin the conversation that creates an interest to delve deeper into discovering for yourself Connections That Give Life! How do you relate to this conversation?

Photos courtesy of  Microsoft Clip Organizer


  • Lorie Klyn on Mar 02, 2012 Reply

    The one thing about Love is that no matter what you have to give up for the other person you just do. Sometimes you really don’t know what you thought you knew about your partner in life. I give and take alot just because I feel I don’t deserve happiness. I know that it feels that way anyway. But, if you love someone you just sacrifice.

  • Tom Robinson on Jun 24, 2010 Reply

    Wow! I just came across this blog site and am very thankful that I did. Now I can get a dose of the GREAT work that goes on at Life Leadership whenever I want/need to. It’s one additional step I can take to keep myself pointed toward Christ. Keep up the good work!

    • Matthew Burch on Jun 28, 2010 Reply

      Tom, thanks for the boost. Simply a blogsite to support, encourage, and develop thoughtful conversation about leading your life!

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